Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You can't motorboat a personality
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
