ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
