This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
