I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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