2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
