I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
My balls are so social today.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
