Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
