you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
