yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
