my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
