So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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