i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize