Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
