ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
