I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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