why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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