i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
