you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
