the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
