is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
