we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
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