I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
