i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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