I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize