Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
