Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
