i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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