Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
