What a fucking waste of an outfit
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize