You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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