do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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