why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
