I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
organizing the empties. That sober.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
