how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I need moral support for this bender
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
