i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
