Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
