I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
