it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize