some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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