i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
