she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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