Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
