***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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