the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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