I can text with my tongue
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
