If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
