Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
