You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
