But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
