if i died would you start the facebook group?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My legs feel like baby dolphins
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
