Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
