Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
