have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
