what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
