you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
