I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
