As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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