You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
