i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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