i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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