i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
