You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
