Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
